When my husband married me he got a two for one special. The Sesame Seed Hannah, with a side of Remi rice. My son had no real father figure in his life up until that moment. His biological father was out of the picture the second I decided not to get an abortion. So for a long time I played the roles of Mother and Father. I was happy in that environment. In a way I could greedily gobble up as much of my son as I wanted. I never realized though what a father would look like for my son.
When my husband came along he had never truly interacted children. Computers, cricket and being a lone wolf were more of his jam and butter. Early fatherhood did not come effortless for him because of this. There were continuous moments when he would question his abilities. Often times the only snippets he could handle watching my son alone were when Remi was already dreaming about castles and knights.
The most incredible transformation I have been able to witness is the evolution of their relationship. My husband went from tentative, to curious, and finally ended as a mostly confident but always loving father. He reads our son books every night. Finding tangents to give Remi about different scientific concepts in chemistry or optical physics books. He chases our son around the kitchen, and gives him rides on his biceps. He tucks him in and they fist bump.
Ankit enhances Remi’s life in ways I never could have imagined. He spoils him in ways I can’t, sneaking him ice cream and being a constant source of chocolate milk. I am sure their relationship will continue to pokevolve to new and never before seen levels. Ankit will show Remi what accountability and responsibility look like. He plans on teaching him coding, and how to ride a bicycle. He is the dad I never thought Remi would have.
There is a massive difference between a father and a dad. A father is a contributor to half of a person’s genetic composition. Their genes help determine phenotypes, and the “nature” component of a person’s life. Being a dad is much harder. It is everything that is nurturing. It is the source of strength and the person who puts the child first. Ankit is without a doubt Remi’s dad. He is always there for Remi, and would slay dragons to protect him. He is his provider, his example of manhood, and he evens out my discipline.
My son, whom I always imagined raising alone, was given the most kick ass dad.
And to think, it all came about because of a two for one special.